As you awaken them,
I pray that my family not be conformed to this world
but be transformed by the renewing of their minds
so that they’re able to test and approve what Your good,
pleasing, and perfect Will is (Rom. 12:2)…
Some children may not be receptive to your speaking this openly; others will embrace it willingly. If they’re not receptive, irritating them will only drive them further from you and God. Simply enter the room and pray while they’re sleeping, and pray this while making beds each morning. Regardless of your relational or other circumstances, when you speak to God, even silently,  words from your heart touch His Heart, which then touch your children’s hearts. It may take time, but continue steadfastly in prayer – never giving up on the gift God has given you. Don’t allow yourself to grow weary – keep planting prayerful seed and you will reap a harvest of blessing, if you do not give up. (Gal 6:9-10)  
Purchase a special ring for your daughter or son assigning the prayer,
Help me guard my heart
and remain faithfully wedded to every detail
of my God-ordained destiny.
When they marry, they can give the ring to their spouse. Kristina gave hers to Melissa Ann. If you feel it would be helpful, purchase an additional ring for yourself. Melissa Ann loved horses during her season of rebellion, so I purchased two rings with three horses representing Tim, Melissa Ann, and me. She appreciated the visual recognition of my commitment to pray for her, and it was highly effective.
We experienced too much girl drama when Melissa Ann was a cheerleader. I was the chaplain and co-sponsor of her squad. At the first game, a parent confronted me because her daughter was not on the front row that night. My daughter wasn’t on the front row either. My response: “I’d like to think that any girl on our squad is so filled with the countenance of God’s Love that she could stand in the End Zone and attract everyone’s attention.” It grew worse – much worse. I spent the entire season – practices, activities, and games - in tears and by the time the season was over, I despised football. But this dark, difficult time transformed Melissa Ann’s heart as she became repulsed by self-seeking spirits and embraced a spirit of selflessness. She began running to open doors for others – and she still races to open the door for me, even at home where no one is watching. She yields her seat, cleans up after others… She became a true princess – a servant.
And it gave us both a compassion for others who are falsely accused, moving us to take stands for those being slandered, a common activity in the political arena. God is watching us. He tests our hearts. Letting God elevate her, Melissa Ann later had opportunities to lead the pledge on national television at a presidential candidate forum, has been in Chief Justice Roy Moore’s office several times, has been placed on stage at events with very prominent individuals, but only because in her heart she respectfully chose to be the least.
This is how it works
“What is causing the quarrels and fights among you?
Don’t they come from the evil desires at war within you
You want what you don’t have, so you scheme and kill to get it.
You are jealous of what others have, but you can’t get it,
so you fight and wage war to take it away from them.
Yet you don’t have what you want because you don’t ask God for it.
And even when you ask, you don’t get it
because your motives are all wrong—
you want only what will give you pleasure.
You adulterers! Don’t you realize
that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God?
I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world,
you make yourself an enemy of God.
What do you think the scriptures mean when they say
that the spirit God has placed within us is filled with envy?
But he gives us even more grace to stand against such evil desires.
As the scriptures say, ‘God opposes the proud but favors the humble.’
So humble yourselves before God.
Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
Come close to God, and God will come close to you.
Wash your hands, you sinners; purify your hearts,
or your loyalty is divided between God and the world.
Let there be tears for what you have done.
Let there be sorrow and deep grief.
Let there be sadness instead of laughter,
and gloom instead of joy.
Humble yourselves before the Lord,
and he will lift you up in honor.”
James 4:1-10 NLT
I hugged Kristina as she left to celebrate her 21st birthday with friends. As she drove to their first destination, someone pulled out miniature bottles of alcohol to share. She refused. Drinks were ordered at the restaurant. Again, she refused. They went to someone’s home where more alcohol fueled the characteristic unpleasantness that attends heavy drinking. She left and called me, upset about how her milestone birthday had turned out. Suddenly the phone went dead.
It seemed like forever before I heard her voice, “Mom, I’m okay. I’ve been in a wreck.” I grabbed Melissa Ann, jumped in the car and headed to the site. Someone didn’t see her car as they pulled out of a fast food restaurant. It was totaled. What if she had been drinking? She was the Peach Queen, with many young girls looking up to her.
The blessing is that I never even thought to tell her not to drink that night. The blessing is that she was safe. The blessing is that her testimony was solid. The blessing is that when we bought her car, one of the first things she did was post scripture on her steering wheel and console, a testimony to those who would investigate the crash or take control of her vehicle. The blessing is that I never suggested she post scripture in her car.
Our children are God’s children. When they listen to His Voice, ours isn’t necessarily required.